Breakups are tough. It does not matter if your relationship was long-term or short-term, if you once felt connected, chances are you feel a painful sadness when it ends. Grieving over your failed relationships is fine for a time, but if you dwell on it too long, you might be told to “get over it.” These tips show you how to overcome breakups so you can move on emotionally.
Feel Your Feelings
Do not suppress or ignore your emotions. Give yourself permission to let the tears flow or feel angry. If it is difficult to express your feelings out loud, write them down.
Make Uplifting Experiences
After failed relationships, you may feel like hiding under the covers, but you should make time for fun and uplifting activities to overcome breakups. Have coffee with a friend, play a round of golf or take your kids to the park. Surround yourself with positive people who love you.
If you start obsessing over what could have, should have or would have happened, tell yourself to stop. Literally saying “stop” aloud interrupts the thought process, and redirect your thoughts to something positive breaks the cycle of pain.
Give Yourself Reminders
Some people romanticise bad relationships after they end. If you find yourself wanting to go back to your lover, remind yourself why you broke up in the first place. Be honest, and take off your rose-colored glasses.
Give to Others
Doing something kind for others can lift your spirits and remind you that your life is still valuable. Volunteer at a soup kitchen, visit a children’s hospital or sign up for a shift at your local animal shelter.
Create New Traditions
Going through a breakup is particularly difficult during the holidays, when you and your ex may have shared traditions. This year, make new ones with friends and family. Continue this outside the holiday season by scheduling a regular date night with your best friend or hosting family game night once a month. These new traditions will give you something to look forward to while providing stability in your life.
Talk to a Professional
Feeling sadness, anger and loss is normal after a breakup, but falling into despair or depression is not. If you feel you cannot function or are overwhelmed by your emotions, talk to a professional. A psychologist, counsellor, rabbi, minister or other trusted person may be able to help.